Amnesia
by hannah askance
Summary: Blue. The color of the sky above the sea before a midnight storm. It was the first thing she thought of when he opened his eyes. AU, RobinxRaven. When a boy shows up in Azarath with no memory of who he was whatsoever, the ball gets rolling.
1. Curiosity

**Amnesia**

*_I therefore disclaim any and all characters and/or places from __**Teen Titans**__. Anything used are for fictional purposes only._

**Chapter I**

News traveled fast. The unconscious boy who'd appeared out of thin air in the gathering yesterday morning was the talk of the village. No one knew him. Black-haired, lean, and guessed to be in his late teens, he was found to be an Earthling, not magical in any way, which was puzzling. A long time ago Azarathians had placed wards around the land which allowed only them to enter and exit as they wished – not that anyone had for the past who-knows-how-many centuries. A being who could wield frightfully powerful magic might be able to slip through the protective spells somehow, but as the Earthling was no Merlin, it could mean many things. Someone might have sent him there, but for what purpose? Or – gasp – could it be that the wards had severely weakened without their knowing?

All Raven knew was that the boy was to be under her watch.

Her mother had originally been from Earth, she knew that. If her appearance – a rosier complexion and rounder eyes than true Azarathians, if also a little on the short side – wasn't a dead giveaway, her slightly less than average magic would have told on her, since it was acquired and not ancestral. Besides, she often retold her life on Earth as it was to Raven and she always spoke of it with an identifying sense of belonging.

Arella – formerly Angela – would have been the one chosen to take care of the Earthling, but she had a daughter who was about the same age, and the elders thought that it would be more beneficial for the boy. Perhaps he would be more… open.

Monks bowing their heads to her in respect, Raven made her way through the labyrinth of corridors, solemnly nodding back, not with less respect. She entered the breezy hall, and spotted some of the council elders huddled over what she guessed to be the boy.

"–so we're absolutely sure he possesses no magic whatsoever?"

"No. We looked into that thoroughly."

"What of the possibility that he was sent here?"

"Excuse me." Although the conversation was interesting, it could be continued in more private chambers, as was appropriate, and impatience clawed at her. They had summoned her here, but they had kept her waiting in the visitor's hall for quite a while. She was irked.

They turned around. "Raven." Respectful nods, which, again, she returned, as was the courtesy. "I assume you've been notified of your newest responsibility?"

"Of course." _Otherwise, what in the name of Azar was she doing standing in front of them?_

"Good," the first one said approvingly. "You may start right away. We shall now attend to our duties." He motioned for the other one to follow and they made for the exit.

"Wait, one moment, if you please." She hesitated slightly. "If I may know of his name, your Graces?"

They both chuckled. "You will have to find that out yourself. Be warned, though, that he may not remember at all – the protective wards around Azarath may have affected him."

She bowed in thanks, and they left. Raven turned around and edged closer to the boy, pulling down her customary hood to inspect better.

The description she'd gotten from the council was accurate, but not precise. Raven sat down beside him on a chair. His previously worn clothes were replaced with the usual ensemble of the upper middle class. He was… young, definitely no older than she. His jaw was quite nicely angled. She cocked her head. His eyelashes were feminine, but it only made his face look even handsomer. (If Raven would spare the time to think on it more, she might've blushed.) His hands were so obviously masculine, but if one looked closer, his fingertips would obviously be from his mother – it, too, like his eyelashes, were femme. His hair, black, was messy and although it was a little greasy from dried sweat, her hand – on an impulse of its own – reached out to brush it back from his forehead.

Slightly horrified, she pulled back her hand. It wasn't in her place to… to do anything of the sort! For all she knew, he might have had a sweetheart waiting for him. Silently, she was annoyed at herself. What happened to keeping her private space to herself at all times?

… Still, his hair had been softer and yet coarser than what she had imagined. She had liked it. Raven would allow herself that.

* * *

Consciousness started to stir. He began to be aware of how sore his muscles were. His head felt strangely empty, though. Other than that, he was perfectly fine.

He was lying down on something hard, some sort of cool stone. However, for some reason he was very comfortable where he currently was, and didn't feel like he ever wanted to move, but his instinct – or some other deeply-ingrained knowledge – pushed him to wake up.

* * *

Blue. The color of the sky above the sea before a midnight storm. It was the first thing Raven thought of when he opened his eyes.

Not forgetting herself, she supplied, "Good afternoon. How fare you?"

He blinked, once, twice, three times. "Uh, I'm all right, thank you."

She nodded. "Good. You may call me Raven. You are currently in Azarath, which exists in a different dimension from Earth. One of the villagers found you in the square yesterday during the morning gathering. Do you remember anything before you came to us?"

It was too much for someone to take in all at once after they'd just regained consciousness. He replied, with some difficulty, "One second, please. I… I need to clear my head."

She could sense his cautiousness at approaching her, a complete stranger in a completely new surrounding. Raven nodded again, this time with a touch of sympathy. "Of course. Forgive me. One thing at a time, then."

After a few seconds, he attempted a weak smile. "Nope. Sorry, I really can't remember anything." He was silent for a while, and then warily asked, "I am currently in a different dimension?" When she nodded, he pressed, "How did I get here? Did you… did any of you transport me here?"

"No. That's what stumps us." Raven looked thoughtful and a little concerned. "We don't know how you got here. Therefore, it's important that you should remember what happened before… but since you don't, then it wouldn't be right to force you. I'm to help you find a way to return to Earth safely, as the defensive spells around Azarath will only allow Azarathians to pass through them unharmed. However, I will have to wipe your memories concerning us when we are done, to ensure our safety in secrecy. Can you accept this?" He nodded, with a smile.

There was a short pause, and then, gently, but curiously, "If you may… Do you have something I can call you with? What is your name?"

The Earthling shook his head, looking frustrated. "I… I don't know. I can't remember."

* * *

_Eh... the idea's been playing in my head for a while. Yes, it's AU, but other main Titans will come into the picture. I think._

_Is the chapter length too short? I'm also a little lost as to how to start the next chapters, so I'm going to leave it to you - if you review (which I strongly hope you do) include the starting line you think I should start the next chapter with. Any line, any sentence. Just make sure it fits where the story's going. Thank you :) Reviews appreciated, flames, uh, welcome._

- the feather quill


	2. Reluctance

**Amnesia**

*_I therefore disclaim any and all character and/or places from __**Teen Titans**__. Anything used are for fictional purposes only._

**Chapter II**

"You found the gardens." A simple statement, lined slightly with amusement and a tone that implied something of an I-knew-you-would.

He glanced behind, and shot a smile at Raven. "I got bored." He was intently studying the tree in front of him. "How goes the research?"

She walked to his side to see what was so interesting about the tree. Ah, it was heavily flocked with birds, most of them robins. "Put simply, nothing new."

"Oh." Disappointment and a dull ache pierced her empathic senses.

If Raven knew any better, she would perhaps allow some physical contact and comfort him for a moment, but she was raised differently. "I apologize that this is so. Please know that we are all trying our best to find some way to return you to Earth." All of a sudden, she sensed curiosity, and sure enough a robin hopped down from the tree to the Earthling's foot. "That bird seems to like you," she asserted, a little dumbfounded.

He raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly would you know this?" It was interesting. The girl – or Raven, as he was told to call her – seemed genuinely surprised.

"I am empathic," she replied without looking at him. "I can sense others' thoughts and emotions."

His interest shot up by about a hundred notches. "Really? How does that work?"

She hesitated, and then looked at him. "The ability is involuntary. Much like smelling. I will sense another's presence if they are within my range. I can hide myself from such powers, but I cannot fully block out what I sense."

"Do you have other abilities?"

There was a short pause. "Yes. Limited telepathy and healing, and… telekinesis."

"Telekinesis?" His voice became even more curious. "Wow. Now, how does _that_ work?"

Raven softly replied, "Your questions are endless," but her eyes glittered, and her mouth twitched as if she wanted to smile but was suppressing it.

_Her eyes._ He'd never noticed them that much before – only that they were of a peculiar indigo hue. They were intelligent, wiser than her age, and shone with a certain brilliance that caught him off-guard. _Amethyst diamonds_, he thought.

Her eyes snapped back to the hopping bird, which pecked curiously at his shoes. "It does seem to like you, doesn't it?" Raven's posture turned back to thoughtful. "Have you… remembered your name?"

Mild frustration clawed his chest. "No," he admitted, hating that he felt so helpless in the matter.

This time, the smile won and her lips widened – but only slightly. "Then we can call you Robin for now, can't we? It certainly seems appropriate." She directed the smile at him. "It is a pleasure to have met you, Robin."

Suddenly, the world in front of him seemed as if it was sucked into a vortex at the back of his mind, and a feeling overwhelmed him.

Rotating lights filled his vision, and someone was humming a gentle lullaby. _"…know that you'll always be my little robin."_

It was night, filled with heavy rain… He was riding on something which almost glided on the slippery asphalt, and he recalled a sort of device which was crackling out words. _"…Robin! Disturbance at Sector 5. Bruce and I'll follow up in a few moments."_

A dark place, a dark room… The distinct mixture of fear and anger. _"My, my. But will the little lost robin find his way home with broken wings? Let's find out, shall we…"_

He gasped for air. The – he dared hope they were – memories were suffocating him with their intensity. Robin fell to his knees, his breath coming out in shallow bursts, and clutched his head, shaking it as if to ward them off. Had he known it would feel like this, there was a likely possibility that he would choose to be amnesiac forever.

"…Robin? Robin! Listen to me!" Raven's voice was calling him. He could feel warm hands hold his face. He knew it was Raven, but all he saw when he tried to look up at her was a blur.

"Amethyst diamonds…" he murmured, his head falling limply onto Raven's shoulder, who had kneeled earlier to face him. "Wouldn't have… known…" His eyelids drooped.

Sheer panic coursed through Raven's being, but she kept it firmly down – the only other time she had felt like this was when she discovered what she was to become. What was happening to her? "Robin!"

But it was as if he fell asleep in her embrace, her arms supporting him and keeping him safe.

* * *

Robin woke up, his head still feeling quite light, but not as empty as before. He sat up, crossing his legs on his bed – was it a bed? – and rubbed his fingers gently over his temples in a circular motion.

"Do you feel better?"

He recognized the voice as Raven's, but the strange thing was that the sound of it actually soothed him. "Yeah. Thanks for asking."

A warm mug, filled with water, was pushed into his hands. "Drink," she ordered firmly, but she didn't have to – his throat was parched, and the warmth of the water calmed down his rebelling stomach, fading most of the nausea. A few silent moments passed as Raven waited and watched him down the contents of the mug. After a few gulps, Robin put down the mug beside him and made to tell her what he had just gone through, but she put up a hand to halt him and asked him, "Would you like another drink of water?"

Before fully realizing what he was doing, he nodded, and Raven took the mug and went away to fill it up again, but not before she pressed a palm to his forehead in concern.

When she left the room he was occupying, Robin felt stunned. What was she doing?

Before he could ponder any longer, she was back beside him and again put the mug in his hands, which he emptied almost immediately. He was dehydrated, all right.

When the mug finally clinked beside him emptily, and the room no longer seemed to spin, Raven asked gently, "What did you see?"

He shook his head, trying to clear the fuzzed parts of his brain. "Most of it doesn't make sense, but I caught a name." Robin looked at her. "Does 'Bruce' ring any bells to you?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "I… I do not recall of any such name." Raven returned his gaze, and her eyes softened considerably. "I shall ask my mother."

"Your mother? Why?"

"She was initially from Earth." For a moment it seemed as if she was struck by something she had forgotten and something about it horrified her. "I… Forgive me, I forgot… Would you like to perhaps counsel with her?"

Robin grinned at her weakly, as if he didn't know what she was apologizing for. The idea of her apologizing was odd, so she must have felt strongly about it. "I probably should."

Raven nodded and left the room. As she walked, a shadow of reluctance loomed over her thoughts. She wondered why that was.

* * *

_Thank you all for the suggestions. The-Random-Hitter, I know I didn't use what you wrote, but believe me when I say it helped a heck of a lot in making the first few scenes. Everyone, thank you for all the hits. The three-figure made my week. Your suggestions all helped me out of numerous tight spots. If you would like a chapter to include a line, start in a specific way or just want to challenge this extremely bored author, then please be welcome to voice those thoughts in reviews. (They're optional, of course, but that doesn't mean I don't love reviews as much as the next author. :D )_

- the feather quill


	3. Distrust

**Amnesia**

_*I therefore disclaim any and all characters and/or places from __**Teen Titans**__. Anything used are for fictional purposes only._

**Chapter III**

"_The lady Arella is occupied at present. For what reason have you inquired after her?"_

The question still rang fresh in her ears.

_Click._ Raven closed the doors softly behind her. Of course they had to ask. There was a unanimous, silent agreement in Azarath, almost an unspoken rule: Only the barest minimum of contact was to be allowed between Arella and her daughter.

Even after seventeen years, Raven was surprised when she still felt traces of bitterness.

"_It is a matter of the boy,"_ she'd replied. _"He needs help recovering his memories. I believe she may be able to assist him."_

Nod. _"Very well. We shall send word of this. For now, however, be assured that we will inform you regarding any responses."_

'–_regarding any responses.'_ It had almost sounded as if she was not being taken seriously. Shaking her head slightly, Raven opened the door which led to Robin's – as he now could be called – room.

"Robin," she greeted him as she turned back to close the door. "There has been a slight complication. You–" She stopped mid-sentence.

Robin was not in his room.

* * *

It was interesting, Robin thought, how the slightest change on water's surface could expand into something which rippled across the whole surface, affecting all of the pool.

It was certainly similar to the way the smallest thing could change into a trigger for his memories.

Keeping his eyes trained on the surface, his hand reached out on the ground beside him, feeling for another pebble, which he promptly threw at the pool. It broke the surface with a _plop. Interesting indeed…_

"The fish would not take kindly to your actions, do you not think?"

Robin's head snapped to see Raven behind him. "Raven," he greeted her, nodding with a small smile. His gaze returned to the pool. "I'd thank you not to surprise me in the future," he chuckled. He peered closer at the pool. "There are fish in this pool?"

"No." Robin was surprised to hear an underlying tone of laughter. "If there were any, I would not think that the surface could lie so still." Raven sat down beside him, copying his posture. She drew up her knees to her chest.

For a few minutes, they were enveloped in a reassuring, companionable silence. And then–

"How was it?" Robin blurted out, curiosity only barely hidden.

Raven didn't bother to look at him, instead keeping her eyes straight to whatever was in front of her. "She is busy. They will send word when there are any updates." She turned to face him, and a small quirk lighted up her lips. "Rest assured that we will be able to find your home."

"Hm." Robin straightened his legs and dropped backwards, lying down on the pebbly grass. "You said… you said your mother was from Earth as well?"

Raven leaned forward, arms surrounding her knees protectively. "Yes, I did. What of it?"

"Nothing. I was just… curious." He'd meant to stop there, but all of a sudden another string of words ran from his mouth, not totally with his knowing. "Why are you doing this? Why are you helping me?"

"What?" The surprise and disbelief leaked out from her voice like oil.

He couldn't hold in the torrent of voiced thoughts once they had burst out. "Why are you helping me? Why do you bother? I mean, I'm just an Earthling, with no extraordinary powers or anything. Wouldn't I just be a bother? Wouldn't you have more important business to attend to? It's not like I'm going to be able to help anyone around here. I'm just a burden. An amnesiac that got dumped on your doorstep."

"I…" She shook her head. The feeling of distrust emanated from him, and she could tell that he had been thinking about this for awhile. "Because we are not such heartless beings to neglect another, if that is what you mean, even if we may act otherwise."

"Act otherwise?" he echoed. Robin stood up. "How would I know that _you're_ not the ones who brought me here in the first place? How would I know that you didn't deliberately erase my memory? How would I know that I'm not being kept here for some purpose? How am I to know that I'm not really a prisoner in this 'other dimension'? I don't know you!" He shook his head wildly, and crouched down, holding clumps of his hair. "I… I…"

Raven stood up, and glanced down at his crouched form. His emotions were particularly distracting, washing over her like freezing water. Even now, he still doubted them. His distrust insulted her, sliced her, stabbed her, _hurt_ her more than she had expected. "You are right," she said quietly. "You do not know us." She strode away, her cloak swishing, almost billowing behind her walking figure, and her cold anger floated around him, almost as if she had intended all along to leave it behind.

Confused, unwilling, Robin could only fall back on the grass, sobs wrenching him but actual tears failing to emerge.

* * *

_I know this is short, but it's all I can wring out for now. It is 400 words short of the standard chapter length I've set for the story. Also, please accept my apologies. This one took longer than I thought it would. The next one might take even longer, I don't know... I have exams, but I might just be using that as an excuse.  
_

_Oh, and before I forget, I would like to thank _**Griffinmon**_, because you were extremely helpful, no matter how annoying I was. Please know that you have my eternal gratitude. (Was Robin paranoid enough? I'm not satisfied with it, but still... XP) If the jackdaw pecks hard enough at the pyramid, eventually the diamond will poke out.  
_

_Also, please know that this author loves reviews as much as the next. :)_

-the feather quill


	4. Restless

**Amnesia**

*_I therefore disclaim any and all characters and/or places from __**Teen Titans**__. Anything used are for fictional purposes only._

_**Please note** that roughly **a month passes between chapter two and three.** Thank you.  
_

**Chapter IV**

It had been three days since Raven last spoke to him, and the fact that her last words were spoken in a quietly tempestuous manner did not help Robin at all. Though he first found Azarath's pacific air rather refreshing, its peace was beginning to seem tedious without another person to share it with. If he had visitors, they were part of the Council and were only there to help determine where he should be sent home to, and not to simply indulge in idle talk. The few times he tried were fruitless and, as a result, he gave up after someone asked him quite curiously what 'the benefit of this conversation' was and whether 'all of Earth enjoys partaking in something quite impractical' when there were better things they could be doing.

Needless to say, his recent restlessness only increased.

"It seems that you have left _quite_ the impression on my daughter."

Robin blinked, once, twice, before turning around and facing this new visitor. No, he concluded, he's never seen her before.

"Your… daughter?"

"My Raven, yes," she replied, almost absentmindedly, as she shut the door closed. His ears, however, picked up on a strange sort of bittersweet longing, just for a second, before it vanished completely. "I hear she hasn't come to see you in three days. Did you anger her in some way?"

Robin was silent. How could he explain what he'd said that had offended her so, without offending this woman in turn?

And yet… His conscience, his _guilt_ screamed for him to take responsibility.

"I…" he faltered, then stopped altogether.

The woman, sighing almost silently, approached him, and he could see now that although her hair was black and not violet, it possessed a certain indigo sheen which was not unlike Raven's. She looked at him squarely in the eye.

Suddenly he felt as if his legs wanted to run, and yet, for some reason entirely unknown to him, they refused to move.

Much to his surprise, the woman's eyes softened. "I want you to understand that Raven is everything I could ask for, and her happiness is something I wish to ensure."

For some reason, Robin felt as if this woman, someone he had never acquainted with before, had just bared a part of her innermost self to him. "I… I understand."

"Thank you, Robin." She drew back, and something like a smile danced at the edge of her lips, not quite fully formed. "You may call me Arella."

* * *

A man paced the width of the room and back, pausing only to give a forced smile and utter a terse, "Thanks, Alfred," to an old butler bringing him black coffee – plain, as always, and bitter – and resumed walking; this time, at a more urgent speed.

He had spent much of the last month either typing away at his large mainframe computer, searching various databases, looking up possibly shady characters in books or articles, or, more recently, resigning himself to the large, velvet armchair by the fireplace with closed eyes and clasped hands, as those who knew him well knew he was wont to do when he was at his wits' end.

Even more recently, he had taken to pacing, a sign the very same close ones took in with slight alarm. He _was_ known for certain tendencies to… obsess.

To the world of night and the police department, he was best known as the vigilante who ruled the city's dark, who lurked the shadows awaiting those brave and foolish enough to cross the law.

"Damn it, Dick. Where the hell are you?"

And, to the rest of the world, he was Bruce, the one to continue the Wayne legacy.

* * *

"Bruce… Wayne?" All of a sudden, his head felt heavy with a lifetime's information he couldn't access. He _knew_ that he had known this person, but he didn't know _who_ the person was, per se…

Arella nodded from the bedside chair, which had originally been intended for… Raven… "There were many Bruces where I came from, but only one truly stood out."

"And… why exactly did Bruce Wayne stand out?"

"His family – the Wayne family – is quite… rich, you could say. His parents were killed when he was young, leaving him the sole inheritor…" She shook her head. "Forgive me, I can barely remember. I was quite young myself, and then I … became occupied with other things." Her eyes suddenly frosted over instinctively, barring anyone from reading her thoughts.

Robin was too busy processing the new information to have noticed. The trickle of recognition only increased to a steady stream the more he rolled around Arella's description of this Bruce Wayne in his head. _Bruce Wayne, Bruce Wayne…_ He knew him! He knew he did! But just _who_–

Something which glided on a road of asphalt, a voice, fuzzy with… Electronic feedback? _Bad weather, bad signal_, the phrase popped up suddenly in his mind, but he couldn't really understand what it meant. _'Bruce and I'll follow up in a few moments'_…

"I'm sorry I could not be more help." Arella bowed her head to him in a gesture of farewell, and made to leave.

"Wait!"

Arella patiently turned around. "Yes?"

"Um…" Truth be told, his mouth had spoken first without his consent. "What about… lights?"

She looked surprised. "Lights?"

"Yes, I mean… lights which… I don't know. Move. _Rotate_." Robin shook his head. "I've had a lot of those in my dreams recently."

"Rotating lights?" Arella closed the door again, slowly as to muffle the sound. "From what I recall, those are only present in places where people gather to watch…"

He felt rather impatient. "…Such as?"

"Theatres, sports fields, and…" she trailed off slightly, looking rather thoughtful, "circuses, though they began to be quite rare when I last saw them…"

Robin was dizzy.

* * *

Raven, sleeping, dreamt.

Her dreams were usually rather nonsensical in the way that dreams were, and most of the time she forgot them by morning.

Not for the last few days, though. Not since Robin recollected pieces of his memories.

_Lights, so many lights… What's that sound? …Oh, it's applause._

_Wait, this dream again?_

Robin projected his dreams to her – not that he knew about it. Apparently she was the only one receiving his projections, a fact she discovered when she asked others about it, much to her annoyance.

Despite the fact that it was _this_ which came up in her sleep most often, she always dreaded it.

She knew how it went.

And it never ended well.

"–_**the stars of tonight's show, with a new addition–**__"_

_No! They're sick, they've broken a leg, they ran away – anything, just don't make them come–!_

She felt what Robin felt, thought what Robin thought. She herself dreaded it, but she could feel Robin's despair, his desperation, his urgency to stop–

There were only a handful of other times when Raven broke out in cold sweat in her sleep.

"–_**ladies and gentlemen, the Flying Graysons!**__"_

And they went down, down, down.

Raven, sleeping, whispered and muttered and gripped and shivered.

* * *

_I had absolutely no excuse to leave the story as it was for four months, and so I beg and grovel for your forgiveness... For the first several weeks after the third chapter was up, I wrote and scrapped and revised the fourth chapter, but I kept butchering Arella's character, and in the end I got so tired of trying to rewrite the whole thing numerous times that I gave up. ...Yeah, I'm ashamed of me too._

_Even now I don't think I've got her quite right. Meh._

_My thanks to _**Griffinmon**_ (for being as helpful as always) and _**Mr Makulu**_ (Thank you so much for your feedback. It's reviewers like you who help authors achieve their best. :D)_.

_With that said, I do love my reviewers. Please know you're my inspiration._

- the feather quill

_P.S.: Don't you just love Batman?_

_P.P.S.: I'm on the lookout for good RobRae fics out there - anyone know any?  
_


	5. Pensiveness

**Amnesia**

_*I therefore disclaim any and all characters and/or places from __**Teen Titans**__. Anything used are for fictional purposes only._

**Chapter V**

Raven guided the brush down her hair, staring blankly at her mirror.

"_Interesting. Visions, you say?"_

She remembered the contemplative looks they had adopted.

"_I cannot say that any of us here have experienced these dreams – other than you, Raven."_

Her hair brush stopped suddenly, halted midway by an especially stubborn knotted clump of hair; Raven was too deep in her thoughts to have noticed it. She had gotten the underlying message there, under that sentence, so lightly implied that if she were to divert her attention for a split second, she would have missed it.

A messenger had relayed to her an advice from the Council this morning. It had been quite concise in its meaning, and Raven had no trouble mentally translating the ornate language.

_Help the boy_, her translation uncovered. _Help him find the place where he belongs._

And Raven, like any being with a conscience, had obeyed.

* * *

"Robin."

The hand that had been holding a mug of warm water did a little spasm and water spattered on the cold floor, but the mug itself was saved from being reduced to smithereens by translucent black.

It took a while for Robin to pin the voice to a person, but he recognized it. The way it made his chest jolt for the first time was unnerving. Hearing the voice, he remembered walks, talks… and petty arguments which ended gravely. He forced himself to relax – _stop shaking, hand_ – and turned around to see his friend.

"Raven."

Raven took an involuntary step back, overwhelmed – the moment her name had left his tongue, profound emotions had thickly painted the atmosphere with shame, guilt, self-blame and regret. She had known for quite a while, now, that Robin was someone who felt everything intensely, but it was still a wonder to her as to how he could keep all of it in one heart.

Raven realized then that Robin had seen her backing away as second thoughts, and he scrambled out of his chair. "N-No, Raven, don't leave–"

She looked at him squarely and said simply, "I am not leaving, Robin."

Slightly dazed, he returned her gaze. She felt oddly light… like she was in flight.

Contrary to what was to become popular belief, Raven hated, and dreaded, the feeling of flight – _levitation_, as Azar had so many times corrected her – because everything had dropped below her, there wasn't any ground under her feet, and it felt like the wind was trying to carry her off… But this was different.

_How?_ Raven asked herself, daring the different facets of her personality to contest her. _Exactly how is it different?_

"–and I wasn't thinking right–"

Raven looked at him, those steel-cutting eyes hardening with a gleam. "I don't know what you're apologizing for."

Robin silently questioned her, almost in disbelief.

"You have a right to express your thoughts. I must ask you, though, to withhold displaying such ignorance." She glanced to her right through the corner of her eye. "Please refrain from accusing us. We of Azarath are a people of peace and have no wish to start a fight amongst ourselves."

Both hurt and relief touched her empathic senses. Relief… at being forgiven. Hurt…

When had she turned so cold?

"Raven…"

She turned away. _Yes, when had she become so indifferent?_ "How went the counsel?"

"I…" She could feel the tinge of remembrance, and also how his eyes probably softened. "It went… well."

Raven felt like she could hit him with one of her thicker volumes. "…Well?"

Robin seemed confused. "Er… Yes, it went well."

"I meant–" Raven looked at him again. "–well, what else?"

"A circus."

It was Raven's turn to be confused. "Circus?"

"I was… with the circus. My parents were… trapeze swingers." He still had to make an effort to recall what he remembered. Then, all of a sudden, his face scrunched up, and he was trying to deal with an old wound – he felt the loss as fresh as, if not even greater than, the first time he experienced it. "They fell. I'm… an orphan."

The dream rapidly made sense.

_And they went down, down, down…_

She felt sick. The ground… was moving… getting closer…

"Raven!"

The ground stopped, inches away from her nose. There was a pair of arms… holding her.

"Robin, please… Let go of me."

"But you just–"

Raven straightened herself, pressing a palm to her temple. _Cold sweat._ "I'm all right. I'm…" She sighed, passing the same hand over her forehead. "Thank you."

* * *

The awkward episode was soon forgotten amidst the process of renewing their old acquaintance and falling back into their familiar routine.

Quite unexpectedly, however, Raven asked him something he did not expect.

"Do you… know anyone with red hair?"

Surprised, Robin just glanced at her before throwing another pebble onto the water surface. "What makes you think that?"

Making a soft noise of exasperation, Raven pulled him closer to her and gently slapped her palms over his temples.

"What… what are you doing?" His heart, it went _thump-thump-thumpthumpthump_.

"Close your eyes," she murmured quietly, shutting her own. She leaned closer… Their noses almost touched. _What… just __**what**__ was she doing?!_

"Raven–"

"I need you to relax." He could detect the faint hint of a command. She sounded extremely close.

"I…" His eyes closed of their own accord. He inclined nearer.

"Trust me. Relax your mind."

He could feel her breath on his face. It felt…

Suddenly, his mind was filled with images of a red-haired girl. It was so sudden, he almost snapped his eyes open, but Raven calmed him with a gentle 'shush' and told him to accept the pictures. And he did.

* * *

The young woman was tall, and lean – prettily so. Her hair was a bright, shining auburn, tumbling to her waist. Her face was quite different than what was human – her eyebrows rested daintily over her slightly slanted eyes. Her eyes, too, were of interest. Where the pupil ought to be black and the sclera white, they – along with her iris – were all differing shades of entrancing green: forest, lush, and spring green.

He recalled days in the sun, sparkling smiles, and chime-like laughter. And then embraces, promises, the way her cheekbone rested so adoringly in his hand, on his shoulder, kisses–

"Starfire," he blurted out, feeling slightly breathless. The name was so familiar to his tongue. He thought it felt like sunshine.

'_Raven' tasted of moonlight, silent stars, the cold, night wind–_

Raven offered a slight smile. "You remember?"

"We were…" He looked up to the sky, feeling strange. "…lovers."

For some reason, he was extremely conscious of Raven's hands on his face, how they slid off so silently, gently, almost reluctantly.

Robin turned to Raven, and she looked away, also turning to the heavens. Her eyes, closed, fluttered a little, her smile ever present, self-mock in there.

"It is cold tonight, is it not?"

He felt like he wanted to say something, _should_ say something, but whatever wanted to be free had second thoughts and lodged itself in his throat.

_If there's Raven… then who is Starfire?_

_

* * *

_

_Have I mentioned how much I love, love, love, love, love, LOVE you all?_

_This story has been graced by over **one thousand and six hundred** hits and is currently in the alerts list of **twenty **people, although this is only the fifth chapter._

_I'm going to say that not-so-recently the manga Naruto has captured my interest, more so than Teen Titans has lately._

_And because I am **such** in a good mood (1605 hits!) I'm willing to write an any-pairing one-shot for anyone who can guess two of my favourite pairings in any fandom._

_Oh, and have I mentioned how much I just love you?_

- the feather quill

_P.S.: Anonymous reviewers, could you please leave me an e-mail address so I can reply to you properly?_

RaeRob4Ever! - _I have most assuredly not forgotten that story. I'm just having a bit of a writer's block, but I'll try to come up with ideas soon. :)_

Batman Beyond - _Thank you for the recommendations, and for your feedback._

Jinx - _Thank you so very much. For both the feedback and the story recommendations. I'll try not to leave this one hanging like I've seen many fanfics have been._


	6. Fear

**Amnesia**

_*I therefore disclaim any and all characters and/or places from __**Teen Titans**__. Everything used are for fictional purposes only. _(I assure you.)

**Chapter VI**

Though they had returned to their previous quiet camaraderie, there was a certain _something_ that had started keeping a set distance between both of them - something which had, previously, existed in their subconscious to an extent, but had been awakened to both's awareness, making many silences, which had once - and a very long _once_ it felt like, too, thought Robin - felt pleasantly companionable, to just plain awkward.

It had probably sprung from the moment the word '_lovers_' escaped his mouth that evening.

Or... maybe '_Starfire_'?

_Ah, damn it_, his currently frustrated self almost spat, while another, more forgotten part repeated the name, somehow managing to pronounce it differently-

_Starfire. Starfire. Star...fire._

The soft hiss of the S, the tender tone lengthening over the stretcher 'ar', ending in a voice which felt at the very least affectionate.

He'd tried repeating it aloud the same way since then, but couldn't quite manage it. It simply came out as 'Starfire'.

"You... must miss her." Robin froze and burned as he heard her voice catch, the tiniest little gasp in the sentence. "To repeat her name quite so many times..."

Since her voice seemed to be teetering dangerously between 'barely there' and 'outright trembling', Raven decided to just let it trail off and sat down.

"It's not that," Robin replied without thinking, and when he caught her surprised expression he hastily added, "I mean, I guess I miss my memories. It's just that... I know she's been an important person to me before, but now it's like... like I don't know her personally."

Raven simply peered at him curiously from where she was sheathed under the tree's shadow.

"However, knowing that she exists..." He looked up. "It's enough incentive for me to want to go back wherever I came from. I don't want people to suffer over me."

"Enough incentive," she repeated softly. The hand which rested on the grass absent-mindedly slithered its fingers through the grass, twisting and knotting and unknowingly uprooted several blades nervously. Raven did not notice, but Robin did. "Robin, there is something I must... something I should ask." When he sat down beside her, she continued somewhat hesitantly, carefully wording her sentence, "Should we find... Should you return, would you rather it be in your current condition, or with all your memories intact?"

Robin cast her left hand – the hand currently trying to rid the soil of grass – an offhanded glance and covered it with his right to still its fidgeting. When Raven jumped a little at the contact, he removed his hand and watched as Raven stared almost wonderingly at the soil and torn remnants of green sticking to her palm.

"Well," he said as she used her other hand to dust off the dirt, "I probably should have completely regained everything when that time comes, but I wouldn't..." he swallowed lightly, "I don't think... I would really mind either way." Robin looked her squarely in her eyes. "But if worse comes to worst, then... it _has_ been pretty nice here."

Raven searched his eyes, a struck look briefly crossing her own at his last sentence. In a small trance, her hand lifted – the one he'd put his on just moments ago – and rested it on his cheek.

Surprised wouldn't have described how he felt, but what caught his notice the most was how aware he was of the hand. It was hers and it was warm and it was touching his face ever so gently...

Savoring the feel of it, he slowly relaxed, closed his eyes, and leaned into it.

At which point she removed it – _I didn't know the breeze was this cold_, he thought dazedly –, got up, glanced at him one last time, and walked off without a single word.

When she was out of sight, Robin exhaled deeply, and shifted to lean on the trunk as he tried to sort out his thoughts, wondering why he felt completely at peace.

* * *

Raven didn't know what spirit had driven her to her actions. _Azarath, metrion, zinthos._ Regardless, she was now aware of how much her control had slipped, although... _Azarath, metrion, zinthos._ It was not as though she'd missed or fallen out of her meditation routine. Her personified emotions were calm enough to attest to that. _Azarath, metrion, zinthos..._

She couldn't seem to empty her mind enough to concentrate. Giving up and deciding to read something instead, she walked out of the chamber and headed for the library.

_He'll leave soon, don't you know that?_

Frozen stiff, she searched mentally for any other person in the vicinity. Fear began to blossom as she realized no one was.

_Come now, dear daughter_, the voice drawled,_ surely you must recognize me?_

Forgetting the library entirely, she levitated and shot through the air to the Council's halls.

No one was there.

_The boy is merely a human. You know their kind. Despite what he says, he __**will**__ miss his past life, he __**will**__ leave, and forgetting you will be easy for him._

"Shut up," she gritted out, about to leave and find Arella at once, when her mind suddenly screamed with pain, and her body's natural answer was to scream aloud.

_You are nothing to him. When he finds out, he will hate you for what you are._

On her knees, sweating profusely and gnashing her teeth, Raven replied almost desperately, "Leave him out of this!" but she couldn't deny the hurt of betrayal at hearing such a thing.

The answer to that, apparently, was a longer, more intense mental lash of pain. Her voice shouted hoarse out of agony, Raven clutched her head, her hands balling into fistfuls of hair at either side of her forehead.

_It is only natural – humans fear what they cannot understand. And they cannot understand this power we have, power we can use to conquer dimensions..._

"Raven!"

That voice. At the entrance. It was–

"Robin!" she yelled just before another mind attack, strong enough to render her breathless. "Arella! C-call... Arella..." Another bout of shouting.

"Raven, you–"

"Now!" The scattering sounds of footsteps echoed away.

_You see how he runs from you._

"I thought... I'd told you... to shut–"

_Open your eyes, daughter! There is only one thing that can explain his need to run – fear! He is **afraid** of you!_

"N-no!"

_You should be proud. You cannot hide who you are._

"Stop it." Despite how strong or firm she seemed in her words, there was a part of her mind which slowly but steadily, began to agree.

And_ he _knew_._

_Your state of denial is pathetic. It makes you as vulnerable as a human. And be assured, daughter, if you do not change, and when he leaves, you will break... Just like a human._

Raven braced herself for another lash, but none came._ Has he... withdrawn? _In that single moment, she realized she was breathing heavily, sweating, shivering...

Vulnerable.

_No, it is best not to think–_

"Raven!" Her vision was starting to blur in exhaustion, but she was familiar enough with Arella's voice. She felt herself being gathered up in a flurry of fabric, arms, and sensed the fear and panic thick enough for her to taste. "Did he... contact you?"

She knew she was a mess. She couldn't stop trembling, as it was. "I... I..." She looked up to her mother's face rather tiredly, looking resigned. "Will you... be there for me... when he leaves?" Her hands gripped the white cloak tightly. "Will... you help me?"

And promptly fell unconscious.

Robin had never seen a more gentle expression grace anyone's face than the one on Arella's. "I make no promises," she murmured softly, brushing the locks damp with sweat away from Raven's forehead, "but I shall try my best." She turned to look at him. "Please be gentle with her. She is more fragile than she seems."

Robin nodded at the request, although he had no idea what he had just conceded to.

* * *

_Ahh! I'm so sorry! I wish I could say that I have an excuse-- oh wait, no, I do have one. (-whispers- it's called the IB!)_

_I know I said I would be temporarily leaving, but then I felt like writing and, for once, I didn't have to sit for hours staring at the screen, thinking, "What to write next?" But then the inspirational flow -coughriiiightcough- ended there and nothing I wrote would fit, so... yeah. I'm frustrated with some parts here - Raven's acting rather OOC, don't you think? - but being the lazy person I am, I gave up after redoing the part over and over and OVER again._

_Since I haven't been around for a while, please tell me if I haven't replied to your reviews yet. It's the least I can do._

_Oh, and after the last chapter, story stats have gone up to _**_2,536_**_ hits and _**_thirty_**_-effing-_**_one_**_ alerts. You people are amazing. Thank you so much._

_My thanks, again, to _**Mr Makulu**_, whose insight has always proved invaluable to me._

_My offer still stands - I'm taking one-shot requests. I can't guarantee it'll be posted straight away, though. :/_

-the feather quill

hikaru - _Thanks for sharing your opinion with me! I hope you liked this chapter as well._

RobRae4Ever! -_ I did read some of your suggestions, thank you for them! I would have to say that our tastes differ somewhat, but then again everyone's different. :) Haha, thank you, I will! Tell me, though, if you'd like a reply back - I'd love to discuss writing with you. In any case, I can be contacted here:_ athena_432 hotmail . com

Brenxxahh - W_ell... I'm updating now, aren't I? xP Thanks, I won't, I assure you._


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